21.

She can't open her eyes because tears leak out and mix with the saliva that has been smeared across her face and she doesn't want to cry. This is unexpected and shameful and exhilarating. She had choked on the tumour in her throat and blinked at the sudden heat behind her eyelids. Now she is grinning and her breath is heavy and quick with adrenaline and her eyes are starry and wet. She opens her eyes as far wide as they will go, eyelashes spiky and clumped with mascara, and the dampness spills out, washing her cheeks in a salt bath. Tipping her head back, she collects tears in the bowl of her eye sockets. Her lids burn from the sting of saline. Her mouth tastes of the sea and she is drowning and swimming and floating on the tide.